Is he / she a good mate? Find Out on the First Date!

"I can spot a good man within the first 30 minutes of a first date." - Journey 

Women used to laugh at me when I would share this with them... that is until I went out on groups dates and shared my insights of each partner on their dates and explained what my observations had been that resulted in the assessment of whether they were mis-matched or not. I was dubbed the Sherlock Homes of Love because nothing went unnoticed. But what always surprised me was that afterwards, having had the truth put before them, men and women will put up with anything for the sake of "love".  Well, at least their perception or understanding of being in love. Well, since I'm no longer available to do truth-telling... below are insights into some red flags you might want to think about before moving on with your dates. They're from an article I came across which tells the truth quite accurately, with a few of my own additions of course. 

Moochers, Takers, Mama's Boys/Daddy's Girls and More - 6 Relationship Red Flags

     By The Lifescript Editorial Staff -Published September 12, 2008

 

You watch the relationship red flags waving at you, but gosh, he’s just so good-looking. So you dismiss them to see where the relationship will go. The problem with turning a blind eye to those red flags is that eventually they’ll come back to haunt you. You'll end up hurt and resentful, even though you could have protected yourself. The following are six  warning signals of a doomed relationship. Plus: Are you over your ex?

To find that future partner you'll spend the rest of your life with, dating is necessary to separate the good from the bad, the complementary from the distracting.

Anyone who has ever been in the dating scene knows that you’ll encounter just about every type of guy/girl  imaginable.

But one thing’s for sure – the more you date, the more relationship red flags you’re bound to watch fly… and possibly ignore in pursuit of love.

So what are these warning signs and what do you do when you spot them? Read on to find out...

Unless you’re just in it for a fling or, ignoring relationship red flags isn't the smartest move to make if you’re serious about finding that special someone.

In the end, when you're asking why it all went wrong, it's usually those relationship red flags that were your first indicator to move on.

Find out why the following relationship red flags should have you saying “Next!” when it comes to embarking on a new relationship.

1. He/She still lives at home

More and more adults are still living at home these days.

So if it’s more common, should it really be considered a relationship red flag?

Yes! Men/Women who still live at home are usually in no hurry to grow up, become independent or financially responsible. Are those the kind of traits you really want in a future partner? (See related article: He’s Not ‘The One’)

The only time it might be acceptable for a man to still be living at home is if he’s taking care of aging parents or has temporarily fallen on hard times. In these cases, give him a temporary break.

2. He/She never invites you over

He/She is quick to suggest hanging out at your place but never offers up his own digs.

This could clearly be a sign of concealment and should definitely be considered as a relationship red flag. Maybe his home includes a family he’s not telling you about. Or maybe he's a hopeless slob whose home resembles the aftermaths of a hurricane.

Never inviting you over (or never wanting to be seen in public with you, not giving you contact info, giving you vague answers, etc.) could mean he’s cheating on someone else or it could simply mean that he’s embarrassed of something.Whatever it is, you want a potential future partner to be open and honest with you about simple things in your relationship.

3. She/He is moving too quickly - Be aware of someone who moves at the speed of light when trying to win you over.

Moving too quickly is usually a sign that she/he is uncomfortable being by him/herself. They are looking for a man/woman to help solve their problems.  Asking for intimacy or marriage too quickly or even spilling loads of very personal information all point to desperation.

Besides it being unattractive, clinginess and bad judgment are not traits you want to have in a future partner.  Be especially wary if he/she has children that they are too quick to put you ahead of them.  He/She may be desperately looking for caretaker for their children.

4. He/She constantly talks bad about an ex

He/She may not like his ex, but there’s no reason he should continue an ongoing verbal assault on him or her, no matter how sour the relationship went.

Not only is he/she offering too much information, but it makes him/her look tacky, resentful and unwilling to take responsibility for their shortcomings in the relationship.

Plus, if your relationship doesn’t work out, would you want him to hold a grudge, constantly talking bad about you later on?  Be aware of a guy/girl who talks too freely about past relationships or exes in general - especially if it’s all negative. He may be dealing with a heavy load of unresolved anger. And you certainly don't want to bear the brunt of any future resentment.

5. Excessive Parental Attachment

It is one thing to love your mother and father, but it’s another thing to have an excessive relationship with them when you’re an adult.

“Excessive” in these terms means “being a mama’s boy or daddy's girl,” only having your parents as your friends, letting your parents influence you in every facet of your life, etc. (See related article: Is Your Husband a Mama’s Boy?)

Besides, excessive parental attachment doesn’t bode well in a marriage because she/he’ll probably put them ahead of you, which will undoubtedly damage your relationship.

 

6. She/He is fresh out of a relationship - Timing can be everything, but when you could potentially get involved in a rebound relationship, it may be time to move on.

While rebound relationships occasionally work out for the best, it’s usually one of the relationship red flags to be very cautious of.

If you’ve been through a break-up, you know that it takes a long time to completely recover.

Chances are if she/he’s fresh out of a relationship, she/he’s going through the recovery process, which leaves her/him little time to completely focus on you.

He/She may also be using you to temporarily fill his/her loneliness, whether he/she realizes it or not. If you do nothing else, at least take heed of these relationship red flags, no matter how great their other attributes may be.

It could be the difference between inevitable heartache and happiness with another man/woman who only flies with the color green.